Dating in the 2010's
by Adam Corbo

love notes on smartphones,
giggling at shared memes together in the back of a van
driving through the dark night
Unaware of where you're going
Or whom is driving

Relationship status updated
Now everyone knows
What's tinder, but a roundabout way
for computers to breed humans?

Building trust merely on a smile
Enough to meet a stranger in a park
Or bumping into them while playing Pokemon Go
Don't stalk your ex on snapchat
It tracks their movement for you everywhere

See, they're having fun without you
Now it's time to look at all these couples posing,
Their perfect lives shown for all to envy
Hiding their misery impeccably
They plan to divorce in 2020

Polycule? Triad? Mono? Metamour?
Someone at the orgy kept using these words
At first unsure, but now more informed.

In a fluster and hurry it can be hard to decide
whether to quickly ask for someone's:
Phone Number or
Facebook or
Email or
Instagram or
Snapchat or
Twitter or
Myspace or
Linkedin(please don't do this) or
Pinterest or
Tumblr or
Reddit or
Some obscure app/website that is their only method of contact hitherto unheard of,
guess it's time to start an account on whatever a "Mastodon" is...

There's this person, a newly met stranger at a random party,
yet when it's time to exchange numbers...
Somehow you already had each others numbers saved.

Remember late that one night on OkCupid?
Getting a message from someone
Whom OkCupid's matchmaking algorithms claimed
99% compatibility
Someone with a shared taste in music
and movies or something
the conversation went on,
and ended with sharing each others numbers

They had an odd username,
and their pictures looked nothing like them, standing here now
Staring back with a raised eyebrow
saved numbers never used
Hearts unbroken or abused
Memories together not yet made
Of Joy, of Anger, of grief, of pain
Of just dancing like idiots in the rain
A meeting that could be said to have been caused,
First by a matchmaking algorithm,
Then by fate

In hindsight, it seems quite clear
That matchmaking algorithm needed some serious debugging.